Little People Can Do Big Things

Facilitating Peaceful Debate Among Preschoolers

By Cameo Bodey

It’s a beautiful day on the trail at Riverside State Park. A warm breeze pushes us forward as the children eagerly explore the sights, smells, and sounds of the forest. Everyone is enjoying our hike—until we come to a fork in the path.

“Which way should we go?” We ask the group.

And then, it happens. The peaceful moment is interrupted by disagreement. Small voices rise with big opinions, emotions flare, and suddenly, our little explorers—who are still developing emotional regulation and impulse control—are at a block in our road.

The Need for Co-Regulation and Autonomy

Young children need help co-regulating. I see it every day when emotions run high, when children struggle to agree, and when they need a calm, regulated adult to guide them toward resolution. But they also need autonomy—a sense of control in a world that often feels out of their hands.

I have so much empathy for that moment of panic I see in them when they feel powerless. Sometimes, a loss of control is unavoidable. But often, we can offer them choices and a voice, giving them back a sense of agency. And that’s empowering in all the right ways.

A Breath Before the Debate

I crouch down to the level of the arguing children and take a slow breath, modeling what I hope they will do. “Let’s take a slow breath together,” I say. We create a wave in the air with our hands, inhaling as we lift them up and exhaling as we bring them down.

“Let’s have a debate.”

Our group is familiar with peaceful debate. We practice tiny debates often—whenever we need to make a group decision where not everyone agrees. They relish the opportunity to express their opinions, be heard, and participate in a democratic choice.

How We Facilitate Debate in the Forest

When we debate, we follow a simple structure:

Choose Captains: We select one representative for each side of the argument. If more children want to be heard, they take turns, but we start with the two at the forefront of the disagreement.
Set Speaking Time: Each child gets 30 seconds to state their case. This is usually plenty, but we stay flexible.
Mindful Speech: We remind debaters to focus on why their choice is best for the group rather than criticizing the opposing side.
Active Listening: The other children practice respectful listening, and I model attentiveness to reinforce this.
Call for a Vote: “Are we ready to vote?” I ask.
Silent Voting: Each child votes by raising their hand. We count the votes out loud.
Respect the Outcome: We acknowledge which side won and move forward as a team.

In this particular debate, the children calmly present their arguments for which path we should take. After hearing both sides, we vote.

“We have two votes for going right and three votes for going left. Which is more: two or three?”

This moment sneaks in a little math, but more importantly, it gives them ownership over the outcome. It’s indisputable when they recognize the results themselves. They don’t always concede cheerfully, but they know when they’ve lost. And that, too, is a valuable lesson: It’s okay to lose.

Why Teach Debate?

Could I have saved time and made the decision for them? Sure. But allowing children to feel like their learning environment is a democracy fosters a sense of belonging, builds confidence, and nurtures a love for learning. More than that, it prepares them to be active participants in their greater community.

They learn that their voice matters.

I believe teaching children to advocate for themselves is essential. And teaching them that this can be done peacefully? Even more so.

—

Looking for an excellent resource to get your kids excited about debate? Try listening to the Brains On! Podcast, SMASH BOOM BEST! This is lighthearted, funny podcast is an excellent way to introduce debate to children!